Another Exhale

My Chain Hits The Dash

2012-02-05T12:53:00.001-07:00

I've been kind of distant lately, haven't I. I apologize. Creativity seems to be a little lacking.

In the meantime, I'll post other creative people's creativity.
M.I.A is a hero.

Dear

2012-01-25T10:16:00.002-07:00

One of my favorite bloggers has daughter. This particular daughter is turning two years old. She is the cutest thing in the world and this blogger takes fantastic photos. She also has a little extra chromosome 21 and this blogger is raising awareness and support to change some opinions on this subject.

I cried a little. Give it a read!

HERE

Ohboy

2012-01-23T11:07:00.001-07:00

"Late that day he said to them, "Let's go across to the other side." They took him in the boat as he was. Other boats came along. A huge storm came up. Waves poured into the boat, threatening to sink it. And Jesus was in the stern, head on a pillow, sleeping! They roused him, saying, "Teacher, is it nothing to you that we're going down?"
Awake now, he told the wind to pipe down and said to the sea, "Quiet! Settle down!" The wind ran out of breath; the sea became smooth as glass. Jesus reprimanded the disciples: "Why are you such cowards? Don't you have any faith at all?"
They were in absolute awe, staggered. "Who is this, anyway?" they asked. "Wind and sea at his beck and call!"

This is how I feel right now. Just one more wave...and it's over...
But has it capsized my boat yet? Has the storm been too much for him to take care of?

But honestly, The Bay gift registry website? Paper or real flowers? Sheet colours?
(Not to mention the important things like trying to get my head in the game for school, stay out of debt, and, oh yea, trying to better love the man I'm going to marry...)
...You're seriously getting on my nerves!

April showers bring May flowers?

2012-01-11T11:47:00.002-07:00

We've decided to promote a cardigan-friendly wedding....

It Starts

2012-01-09T13:16:00.003-07:00

Back in the swing of things again!

(and by back in the swing of things, I mean "writing blog posts/scanning the interwebs in class again!"

I failed, horribly and completely, and the December craft challenge.
You probably don't even know what I'm talking about.
That's how much I failed.

I SUCCEEDED, though, in my holiday book list! I didn't read the exact books I wrote on the list but I did read 6 overall which I feel is mission accomplished. They were....

People of the Deer- Farley Mowat: I lovelovelove Farley. I do! He does an amazing job at assessing and appreciating humanity

Tales of the Pacific- Jack London: This was fun! My first taste of London, so it was cool getting a bit of an idea of his story telling, which is slightly pessimistic (in regards to humans) but delightful nonetheless

Decoded- Jay-Z: Unexpectedly awesome! I would especially encourage this for those poets and music-lovers among us

Jack-Timothy James (my dad, yo!): Definitely a cool story, proud of him!

New Years/Birthday Godfather party!

So many things have happened lately. Christmas, New Years, my Birthday....let me recap...

But I will only be recapping my birthday.
It's my blog I can do what I want.

Colin and the Dalhouse threw a Godfather New Years party, partially as a treat for my birthday (I've always wanted that theme!) It went off swimmingly, everyone looked amazing, and the food was delish (wait, we made the food...)

I am so blessed!

We've done a ton of skating this season, it's been so lovely! We're trying to check out as many of the local rinks as possible. The only downside to Calgary's currently balmy winter is the ice gets sloppy : (

We had a big family dinner this past Friday and made it Cajun-ish-themed. I made Jambalaya (I've been convinced of the slow cooker) and mama made Ahi Tuna Tacos. A few dear friends came by and we finished off the night with some always ridiculous/awesome Wii Just Dance!

The final celebration involved skating with Cho at Prince's Island Park (Did you know this existed?? GO!) and dinner at Boxwood. If you ever get the chance, please go to Boxwood. It is a beautiful experience, both aesthetically and tastefully.

All this joy makes five hours of sleep and a three hour class seem like small change.
Love!!

AñoNuevo

2011-12-31T11:58:00.000-07:00

I think I am in the same boat as TyTy...I don't so much look forward to New Years, I look forward to the New Years blog post.
Because that's where I do everything I'm technically supposed to do on New Years.
And it is technically New Years Eve today, so I suppose it just all fell into place.

My stars are aligned.

Last year, I did not make my typical resolution, to "Make 20_ _ the Best Year Yet". I figured that was a given and I no longer needed to make it a goal.
Instead, I resolved to WHISTLE.
And whistle I did.
I'm especially proud of this achievement. Now for fine-tuning it. Both literally and...literally...

BUT ALSO, 2011 was actually the best year yet!
What a treat!
Here's how:

Concerts:
-Martin Sexton, U2, and Mason Jennings were definitely the most notable for obvious reasons. Both Bono and Mason were on my MUST SEE list and Martin is just the best concert ever.
-MotherMother, Yukon Blonde, Jordan Klassen, Black Keys, Sam Roberts, Matthew Good. ALL wonderful!

Favorite Albums: She&Him: Christmas, Matthew Good: Lights of An Endangered Species, Mason Jennings: Minnesota

Favorite Books Read: IT'S TOO HARD. I suppose I could say my minor-indulgence in certain authors was particularly enjoyable, such as: Farley Mowat, John Steinbeck, Cormac McCarthy, Orhan Pamuk.

Trips:
-Cambodia, Ontario: My big trips of the year. Getting to go back to Cambodia for the second time and see the beautiful chitlens at Place of Rescue was amazing. Ontario was just perfect.
-Vancouver part 1,2,3, and Oregon. ALL magical. The West Coast nails it EVERY time. Good food, good music, good people, ocean.

Achievements: Photographing 2 weddings of my dear friends.
Starting Disability Studies Program at Mt Royal and pwning.
Making it halfway through Twilight Princess. (this next year is for YOU, Zelda!)

Fiancé's: One! Colin C Chubachi. That's an achievement right there.

As for 2012? I really don't know yet.
I'm pretty sure that the "Best Year Yet" title is already well in the works, considering I am getting married to a hot bearded half Jap and we get to have sexy times in a cabin in the woods. JustSAYYYYIN.

(so much blog line crossing in that sentence)

I'll try and think of some resolutions not related to video games and get back to you.

Thanks for reading, my bloggy-friends!
Happy New Year!!

Children

2011-12-24T10:47:00.001-07:00

"Suppose a youth, a ten year old boy, decides he will become a great hunter overnight. He is not scolded and sent sulkily to bed for his foolish presumption, nor do his parents condescend to his childish fantasy. Instead his father gravely spends the evening preparing a miniature bow which is not a toy, but an efficient weapon on a reduced scale. The bow is made with love and then it is given to the boy an he sets out for his distant hunting ground- a ridge, perhaps a hundred yards away- with the time-honored words of luck ringing in his ears, which are the same words spoken by the People to their mightiest hunter when he sets out on the two-month trip northward for musk ox. There is no distinction, and this lack of distinction is not a pretense, it is perfectly real. The boy will be a hunter? Very well then, he shall be a hunter- not a boy with a toy bow...
...So he plays, and learns, under no shadow of parental disapproval, and under no restraint of fear."

-Farley Mowat, People of the Deer

I love this so much. Someday I want to be this kind of parent.

Booooks

2011-12-22T11:05:00.001-07:00

Finished Into The Wild.
It'll be a refreshing contrast to read People of the Deer as next in line. I think Mowat and McCandless probably had a lot of similar values and passions. Mowat was only 31 when he wrote this book in which he spent a whole winter in The Barrens near Hudson Bay. The refreshing part will be the added sense of open-mindedness and general respect (in the form of study) for the people and nature he was in contact with.

Happy trails!

5

2011-12-19T12:38:00.000-07:00

There are 5 whole months between now and marriage.
This feels long, and also short. Weird time space warping action.

I don't have any new pictures to post because, well, I really haven't been thinking about it. School, enjoying the present, wedding-stress-avoidance-techniques, they all play in.
I DID get a wedding dress. But I can't post a picture of that...

The next big thing up is the registry. I've been avoiding it like the plague. I just started making a list today and after approximately...oh...ONE item I already felt my chest tightening up and my breath quickening and my head getting light....
I have a shopping-related-anxiety-disorder okay? There. It's out.

Honestly if we could create our registry however we wanted (I know I know we CAN do that..but then we wouldn't have forks and sheets...etc...) this is how it would look:

1 Cross-stitched picture/lyric of Jay-Z by DaveyGravy
1 Painting by Tyler Hochhalter (because we want our house to look cool!)
1 Hand blender (for weekly soup!)
1 Raclette (because it is a super awesome entertaining idea)
Some clever mugs
Really awesome pots! (don't search that on google, it is allllll about the marijuana...)

And that is alll we would live on for ever and ever. Cookware, coffeeware, art. That's all you need right?

PS: My aunt wisely informed me that since this is the only official 'registry' we currently have up, we're going to get like 20 hand blenders. Aight people, I am ever grateful for the soup encouragement, but hold yo horses until we get the official thing made. I promise I'll suck it up and be a big girl and choose place settings and spatulas in like, no time at all.

Ja'maican Me Hungry!

2011-12-18T20:15:00.004-07:00

I'm stuck in bed. Counting down the minutes to my next allowed Neocitran consumption. Tossing Kleenex by the garbage bag. Eating ginger-molasses cookies for dinner. Washing my hands every 20 minutes....

So fun?

YESTERDAY I tried to convince my immune system that it was all good! I'm practically healed! Hang out with all the people! Don't nap! S'alllll good bro!
This turned out to be false hope, but we still managed to dish out these Jamaican Patties, so immune system better take note!

Jamaican Patties
Recipe found here, but with seriously spicy additions by us.

Nooo I didn't take a picture of the dough process, but it was dang easy! And yellow. So pretty...

1) What you gotta do is mix 4 cups of Flour, 1tsp Baking Powder, 1 tsp Salt, 1tsp Curry, 1 tsp Turmeric

2) Add 1/2 cup of Shortening and 1/2 cup of room temp Butter and mix until it has crumbly texture

3) Slowly pour 1 cup of iced Water over this whole mixture while mixing until it resembles dough, slightly sticky!

4) Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 1 hour!

Alright now look at all this goodness. Spices, onions, beef. These are your insides. And they are GOOD.

5) Finely chop 1 Onion and 4 Scallion (or just another onion) and fry them up in some butter until they're not quite brown!

6) Alright now add 1 lb of meat to the pan,

7) Add 2 Cloves Garlic, finely choped

8) And add the wonderful spice mixture seen below:
1tbsp Curry powder, 1tbsp Chili powder, 1tsp Salt, 1tsp Pepper, 1tsp Paprika, 1/2 tsp Sugar, 1tsp Nutmeg

9) Mix and fry until meat is all brown and yummy

Here is where you have freedom to get crazy. We didn't think the mixture was neeeear spicy enough for our taste-buds so we added at least 2 more tbsp of Chili Powder and 2tsp Cayenne Pepper. The Cayenne definitely did the trick!

10) Get'chyo dough! Roll it out on a floured surface and cut out thin circles. We did a ton of mini ones because we were going to a party, but I would recommend bigger ones as you can cram more meat into them :)

11) Put a bit of meat mixture in the middle of your circles, and fold into crescents, sealing with a fork.
Put onto tinfoil-ed pan.

12) Don't worry if the patties don't seal entirely as a result of being so very tiny (should you make minis), they will hold their shape when they bake!

13) Set that oven to 375F and bake approx 25-35 min: Until they are golden brown.

Mmmm so bite size and delish!

It Lurks

2011-12-17T09:11:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I think about how far I've come with anxiety and the sort. I am blessed by the people in my life, and the self-awareness, and the purposeful habits to fight it. It is so far from what it was and I plan to keep it that way.

Other times, when I least expect it, a sneaky worm of it creeps from where it has been lying in wait. It creeps above the surface and ravages my soul and I'm left wondering how exactly something so very small can create such damage to what I've worked so hard to sustain.

All I can do is wrap my arms around God's neck and pray that he'll keep it all away, because I'm rather helpless on my own.
I heard a word in psychology recently: Ruminate. Yup. I ruminate. It renders me helpless.
And He holds me tight.

And I wake up to a new morning...

In other news, I read The Picture of Dorian Gray yesterday. I was impressed by how freaky Wilde made it in the last third of the book. Glad to finally have finished after a couple misstarts.

And, I failed to put my father's own book on my book list!

Jack (Timothy James)- Of course I am going to read this over the holidays!

It's over!

2011-12-15T11:46:00.000-07:00

This is pretty close to what my end-of-semester celebration looks like:

Except link would be sporting a snuggie...

Holiday Books

2011-12-14T16:57:00.002-07:00

I am but one exam away from my official Christmas break, and that means I can start creating my Christmas book list! I have finished approximately .75 books a month in this last semester, and while they were all enjoyable, the lack of time I can dedicate to pure literary joy is a travesty.

My goal is to read approximately 2 books a week.
The first step is to make a comprehensive list to begin with.
Does this make me geeky?
....no....?

BUTFIRST:

The Help (Kathryn Stockett)- This is a super quick read and also super interesting. I am excited to watch the movie.
100 Years of Solitude (Gabriel García Márquez)- I've been wanting to read a book by Márquez for a while. It had a very interesting style of narrative. I think it would have been much more lovely and less confusing if it didn't take me a month to read it. I did it a bit of an injustice and it made it pretty disjointed.
No Country For Old Men (Cormac McCarthy)- Now this is only my second novel I've read by McCarthy but I think he is fantastic at building suspense and affection towards the characters. I liked this book way more than The Road, despite how very frightening the antagonist was. I'll definitely be reading more by him!

Alright, so,
THE LIST
(and I'm open to suggestions)

People of the Deer (Farley Mowat)
Crazy Love (Francis Chan)
The Picture of Dorian Gray (Oscar Wilde)
Into The Wild (Jon Krakauer)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Victor Hugo)
Becoming Human (Jean Vanier)

And that is my list, from my shelf, of the books I think I would most like to read over holidays.
Revisions? Suggestions? MUST READS?

Breakfast Smoothie!

2011-12-07T11:18:00.001-07:00

Today is my last day of class!

I decided to actually go, and to reward myself for both these successes (finishing the semester/attending a class) I made myself a super delish smoothie!
This recipe is adapted from Joy The Baker, and was easy enough to make in the pre-school rush.

First, you're going to need 2 tbsp of ground oats. You can also use flax in there as well.

Have oats but not ground? CHECK THIS OUT, just rinse your coffee grinder out well, chuck the oats in, and presto...ground oats. Please rinse after out of respect for the coffee drinkers...

The original recipe called for peanut butter, but I've had a hard time finding PB that doesn't have extra salt or sugar in it. I used 1/4 cup of almond butter.

Throw 2 cups of soy/almond milk, 1 banana, 1/4 cup of almond butter, 2 tbsp of ground oats into blender.

Add a cup of ice to give it a thicker texture

You can also add honey if you want it to be a bit sweeter.

Blend and CONSUME.

Yumyumyum...this made enough for two large glasses so I already have my breaky ready tomorrow!

Snow Day #2

2011-12-04T20:51:00.001-07:00

It snowed even more last night.
I love how a huge snowfall instills in everyone the desperate need to hunker-down.
I adore hunkering.

Now, Colin and I are intent on beginning our own food blog, but we also have to balance this out with the fact that we are to wed, and thus much of our money is being spent on things such as fancy ballrooms and fancy shoes. Just kidding, neither of those things are going to exist in our wedding, but things will be costing money nonetheless. Thus, we've had to focus a little more on cooking at home rather than eating out when we want to do something special, and using things that we have around the house. Today I got to do just that!

I'm not going to lie, this was day number 2 of a Grilled Cheese Social recipe, but dang that girl makes tasty creations! And it used a mix of flavors that I wouldn't have considered before.

This is the delicious gourmet sandwich we cooked up!

Getting started: get some balsamic vinaigrette and simmer for at least 30 min to reduce.
Carmalize a red onion!

Romaine hearts? Betta believe it. Throw 'em in a hot pan, drizzle with olive oil.
When they begin to carmalize, sprinkle with peppercorn and sea salt and remove!

Mmmmbaby, cheese of choice: feta! This is goat cheese feta=yippee!

These romaine hearts were so scrumptious I probably could have just eaten them like this.
Who knew?

Layers: Buttered bread, feta, romaine hearts, carm-onions, balsamic glaze drizzle, more feta, more bread!

This baby's a keeper!

This sandwich was surprisingly filling. Perhaps because we had half an onion each worth of the carm-onions? I probably could have been happy with half!

To finish off our hunkering, we situated ourselves on the couch to play Battlefield 3 and to start reading No Country For Old Men.
Can you guess who did what?

Snow...

2011-12-04T01:03:00.001-07:00

Today was one of those magical days we've been dreaming about for months. Completely unplanned (as most magical days are)
What we DID plan to do was to have gourmet grilled cheese as discovered on THIS incredible website. First we kicked it off with a lesson in standard driving, then we visited the enchanted Springbank Cheese Company and found a nice selection of goat and sheep cheese. Then this happened:

Ossau-Iraty. Melty goodness.

Bruton beer, compliments of Mika! Yumm

Melt baby...melt

Deeelish and easy! For the recipe go HERE.

So that's where it all began. Pretty great. Probably could have all stopped there and been deemed a successful day. We had plans to go to Market Collective's Ugly Sweater Social, we really did, I even wore my sweater all day.
But it started snowing. Storming. Blizzarding.
We were already playing the Christmas tunes and it happened upon us, the day we'd been waiting for...a day to turn on the fireplace, listen to Christmas tunes, watch funny youtube videos, drink a warm bevy and cozy right up. And never leave the house.
And so we did.

I took pictures of cat while Colin cooked

Pork and seafood paté compliments of Chef Yosh. Such a treat!

What is this? Only the most delicious winter drink ever? Cinnamon-sugar rimmed?
Why yes, yes it is.

Check out our fireplace....

And while I started to panic as the end of the night drew near and I couldn't get "Baby It's Cold Outside" out of my head and the weight of responsibility weighed heavy on my heart, I remembered....
Christmas Break....so soon...

Thank you snow, for the wonder you bring.

Dairy Fast

2011-12-01T12:05:00.001-07:00

I can't consume lactose products this month. I must blog about it.

I've had eczema since I was a wee one but in the past 15 years it seemed to come and go with stress. This past semester, though, my allergies seemed to reach a breaking point and exploded in a nonsensical mess of sneezing and stuffiness and dry skin that just wasn't fun.
In the past, my doctor just gave me a cortisol cream and was done with it. But my mother had been seeing the naturopath and wisely informed me that meds simply mask the allergy instead of getting to the root of the problem. So I made my own appointment.

It was definitely a unique experience, and I unfortunately discovered that dairy was probably my issue. Here's a poem about the issue:

This sucks.

I love lattes and cheesy triscuits and pizza and yogurt and nachos and laaarge cold glasses of milk.

I don't put cream in my coffee, I use milk!

Puhlease. Why must you leave me...

But it has now been a couple weeks and I'm learning to adjust. I was initially scared that I would have to go to a natural food store and pay tons of extra money for all the products I loved but I've discovered that you can get dairy alternatives right in Superstore!
But is it working? Well today is the first day that I've noticed a visible improvement in my skin! It has been been a little less itchy but today my arms have cleared up a bit from what they were before.
And, I don't know if it's related, but for the last month I had a pain in the side of my leg that felt like a large bruise (which I checked numerous times, no bruise!). It was irritating to sleep on and I couldn't figure out what the deal was. But I haven't noticed it at all in the last week.
Curious...

Here are my fun alternative purchases of today...

Hurrah! Yogurt is what I miss the most, and goat yogurt just wont do.
Trying out the soy-yog today. And to avoid soy overdose, I also got some Almond milk. Yum.

Life can go back to normal again...cheesy triscuits here I come.

And how about a recipe to test out my goat feta!

Spinach and Goat Feta Croissants

Heat up some olive oil and garlic

Throw in some spinach, coat in the olive oil, and cover for about a minute.

Put cooked spinach in the middle of croissant dough (I am lazy/resourceful! and used Pillsbury dough.
Top with feta, roll croissant, bake for 17 min at 375

EAT! I cracked some pepper on these babies to even out the rich feta.
So delish.

Countdown

2011-11-30T15:26:00.001-07:00

I have been good....
I have studied hard, worked ahead, scheduled my time.
This means that this Christmas season, I can be a little more creative with my time...

And so, I will attempt The 12 Days of Crafts!!
These seems a little ambitious for me, but I think I can do if it I keep my crafts modest and fun (and perhaps a few can be wedding applicable!)

So to kick this baby off, my first craft was inspired by one of my new favorite blog of late,
Katie's Pencil Box.
Her blog is adorable, and it was a super easy craft! So....

Sparkly Christmas Word Art!

1) Print your festive words of choice onto some card stock. She suggests printing them backwards so that the ink doesn't show through on the front side, and also using a paper that works with your glitter. I used patterned card stock for a bit of a different look.

2) Cut your words out....

3) Load them up with glue and douse them with glitter!

4) Wait for them to dry and shake off access glitter...

5) Back 'em with sticky tack and stick them up!

I'm missing the '&', I know. Too excited to think straight...

Big Things...

2011-11-29T11:16:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I ordered a dress.

It made me feel kind of like this:

Now let's hope it fits...

Couponing?

2011-11-28T11:35:00.001-07:00

Last night I came home to discover my house had become the center of a reality television show....

Can you guess which one? My parents were down in the states for the past week (black Friday) and I guess my mom had been saving up her coupons for a moment like this. Man...it's weird. But my family does eat a lot of cereal...

I greatly benefited, though, from this recent shopping extravaganza as my mother got many wedding-related items (AND for soooo cheeeap!) So that's pretty exciting! The center pieces have got it going on...

My mother got us a wedding piggy bank. Cute.
She's also planning on making the bridesmaids dresses as well as her own. SO great!

Some textures. The ribbon is actually a very soft version of the bluey/green in our colour scheme. Love.

I also got to experience my first mo'vember.
I'm not even mad, I'm impressed....

Experience...

2011-11-28T01:25:00.001-07:00

I got the chance this fall to photograph my very first weddings, and was fortunate that were both for some dear friends of mine. It was quite an experience for me, and I'm feeling much better about it now that I've finally finished editing them both! Here's a few of Jeff and Amanda...

Hurrah!

What?

2011-11-27T23:39:00.001-07:00

Remember that time I skipped more classes and got better marks?

Also, thanks to Miss Kristin....
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

2011-11-27T11:41:00.001-07:00

Our night last night consisted of Ratatouille, Mouse Trap, and Stratego. T plays crazy mind games in Stratego and S sang "Singing in the Rain" all night.

I don't understand why everyone doesn't do babysitting/childcare. It's the best job in the world!

The View

2011-11-26T16:11:00.001-07:00

Reception and hopefully ceremony?
Yup....

So dreeeammyyy!

But the truth in it all...

2011-11-25T14:46:00.001-07:00

And it all comes down to that one thing.

What's with today, today?

2011-11-25T13:01:00.001-07:00

Some days, "shit hitting the fan" is the best way to describe how insecurity contaminates my entire body.

My brain takes a turn for the worst and I can't think straight and my stomach drops and my chest hurts and my face gets hot and my muscles tense and I feel like I'm going to puke.
All because I worry about my own capability, and what people think of me.

It's ridiculous how one misguided insecure thought sends my body reeling and triggers my anxiety reflex which tells me that my whole life revolves around 'getting this right' or whether or not someone is disappointed with me. My Whole Life.
It sounds hilariously melodramatic to write it down but that's honestly how my mind processes it sometimes.

So I have to sit back.
Take deep breaths.
Remember that anxiety is an issue and not a normal or rational one and thus this is not reality.
Remember that I have a God who loves me.
Remember that I have family and friends who love me.
And repeat.

Wanderlack?

2011-11-24T14:41:00.001-07:00

Okay. I started my paper. I cleaned. But now I'm back to procrastinating.
One thing I really wish I had planned right now is a TRIP.
Specifically to Asia.

IknowIknowIknowIknow it's only been 3 months since my last one but dangit, it's in ma blood!

I am in love with Colin, and we are having a wedding, which means no extensive travels this in 2012.
What it DOES mean is that I get a super awesome travel buddy when we do travel in the future.
But, until that time, I can dream....

Where I would go if I could go right now:

Japan
I've always wanted to go there, but now I have even MORE of a reason...

China

Because it looks kickass, amirite?

Tibet
Because duh, it's Tibet.

Malaysia
I've been there, but it wasn't enough!

2011-11-24T10:38:00.001-07:00

The plan today is to clean and start a paper.

So far, all I've done is DANCE!

Music?

2011-11-23T12:10:00.001-07:00

I tried playing piano today.
I can't seem to play+sing anymore without getting pissed.
Ugh.

AF

2011-11-23T09:07:00.001-07:00

(Listen Here)

I'm standing on a stage

Of fear and self-doubt

It's a hollow play

But they'll clap anyway

I'm living in an age

That calls darkness light

Though my language is dead

Still the shapes fill my head

I'm living in an age
Whose name I don't know
Though the fear keeps me moving
Still my heart beats so slow

My body is a cage that keeps me

From dancing with the one I love
But my mind holds the key

I'm living in an age
That screams my name at night
But when I get to the doorway
There's no one in sight

I'm living in an age
That laughs
When I'm dancing
With the one I love
But my mind holds the key

Set my spirit free

And Other Times...

2011-11-22T23:56:00.001-07:00

Complacency houses my spirit again

That trap that pulls me in languidly

The soft, emptiness of ease

And for all the muted colors in the world I can't find one bright light

I need a sharp and twisting

A cry in the night

Give me drive again

Pain again

Wake me up inside

Trace my veins again

Oh world.

2011-11-22T16:54:00.003-07:00

I am writing another paper on the 'models of disability' and how that shows up in our society.

These papers make me furious. They make me cry. They make me passionate.

I think this is a good sign.

There's not much else in the world I get that worked up about.

The more I enter this 'adult' world, the more I realize people are being oppressed.
(For some reason I thought that adults grew out of bullying...)
And the more I get to know people who are oppressed, the more I appreciate creativity, and beauty, and community...

So can we start talking to these bullies?
Can we figure out why they're around and why they do what they do?
And can they change?
And if they don't, can we run them right the heck out of town?

Something SAPPY (you like it...)

2011-11-17T21:54:00.002-07:00

Well, I figured it's about time...

Time to tell you how it all went down!
And the more people read this, the less we need to tell : )

So here it is.

The Meeting

(Told from both perspectives)

C: The first time I ever heard about Alexandra was at my buddy Nathan’s bachelor party. A good number of the attendees were single so, naturally, our conversation revolved around single girls. At one point in the night, Erik McRichie was talking up this girl named Alexandra. I knew it was the girl I had seen in passing a couple times, but I really didn’t know anything about her. Erik talked about how she was musical, liked photography, and was really cute. I knew I had to meet this girl, and I knew I had to do it before any of the other guys in the room did. As I saw one of my buddies reach for his iPhone to request Alexandra’s facebook friendship, I quickly did the same.
The next day, she accepted my friend request.

A: It all started when I looked at my super high tech blackberry one day to see that I had received a "Friend Request" on the social network. It was from Colin Chubachi. I was a little confused as to why he added me, as we had never met before, and I usually had a strict rule against adding unknowns. But, I had heard of him before and figured we had enough mutual friends that it might be awkward if we met one day and had a 'rejected friend request' between us. So I accepted.

C: I wrote her this message:

Friends?
You're quite brave to accept a friend request of someone you've never met. Erik McRichie told me you were cool and I have this thing where I need to be facebook friends with anyone who's cool so I hope you live up to the hype.
I'm Colin. Nice to meet you.

A: Now, McRich has a history of matchmaking so I had a guess of what was up, but I decided to go with it. I replied, he replied, and as you might have guessed, this went on for a while. The messages got longer. Essays even. Until one day he asked for my number, and a couple days later we finally met in real live face-to-face person.

C: The first thing I did when I saw Alexandra in that downtown coffee shop was give her a hug. I do not regret that decision. I bought her a coffee and we sat down and talked for three hours! The thing I remember most about that coffee date was the way Alexandra looked at me. She looked at me the way no girl has ever looked at me before.

A: The date went well. We got coffee at Kawa. We ate viet. We went to my church, Metro, together. While we are able to look back and see how that first date turned out to be a prediction of a lot the most important things in our relationship, it didn't end so well. As I got out of his car at the end of the night, the last thing Colin said to me was "See you around!". My heart dropped! The devastation! See you around! That's what you say when you not so inconspicuously don't care to see someone again. I was pretty upset about that and spent the next day moping around and annoying my friends with my emotions.

C: The date went even better than I expected as she asked if I wanted to grab a viet sub (also a first for me) and invited me to church with her that night. Everything was going swell until the moment I dropped her off at her car. It was awkward. And in what seemed like a split second, she grabbed her bag and was leaving my car. Not knowing what to do, thinking that I should say something, I panicked and said “see ya around.”
It was over. All the hope I had amassed in my heart that day disappeared in an instant and I spend the next day visibly distraught at my actions. That afternoon I decided to give it one more shot, and I wrote her a nice facebook message.

A: UNTIL...I received another message, which said something like "I wanted to write you because it felt wrong not to spend a good part of my day trying to think of something interesting to say to you" and my heart was sparked again. I agreed to go on a second date the next weekend.

C: She wrote back something nice, and just like that my hopes quickly returned. We spent the next weekend going to an improv club, seeing some live music, and watching Amelie at my house.

A: Somehow, the rest went pretty quick from there. He met my fam at my brother's hockey game right before that second date. The next day I went for din at his house and then we hung out with his sis and my friend Rebecca. By that time, we seemed to have met all the important people and got a good feel for what each other was like, so it was only natural that the next day we would start dating!

C: As I walked her to her car on the last night of that weekend, I asked her to be my gf, and that was that. A whirlwind few days, a rollercoaster of emotion, but a week I’ll never forget.

2 .5 weeks baby. Nahbigs.

The Engagement
(From A's perspective)

It was just a normal Wednesday night before youth group, but this particular night I was not feeling too good and decided it would be a good night to stay home. Colin was visiting me at the time I decided I would stay home and he turned into a grumpball. He reeeally wanted me to come and was pretty frustrated that I wouldn't. He was practically inconsolable, but finally he accepted the truth and asked if he could just stop by after. I agreed.
After youth he sent me a text asking if I would like to go out for coffee. It was about 9:30 pm at this point and usually he would just bring me a coffee at this time of the night, so I was a little confused. Suddenly my brain started going crazy! Either he had something planned, or he was genuinely upset that I would not come to youth and he was going to give me a stern coffee shop talking to. But I said I would go, despite being in my little boy pj's.
We drove into Kensington, which was pretty unusual for just a regular coffee, but I was trying to keep my brain under wraps. Colin suggested going to The House, as we'd never been there for coffee before. When we got there, it was closed! So I figured at that point there was nothing special happening.

UNTIL he said, "Should we go in anyways?" and pulled out a key which opened The House... at this point, I'll admit, I got a little misty.
So we went in to find a quiet scene of candles and pictures of us and adventures we had been on strung up all over the walls. We both sat down, and he pulled out his guitar and played me a lovely song that he had written just for me. Then he got down on the ol' knee and asked me to marry him!
I said yes...duh!
Then we got to sit there for a good while and talk and drink the coffee that The House had so graciously left for us. Then I danced around a lot like THIS!

C+A:

Deep Sigh

2011-11-17T00:37:00.001-07:00

THIS is what I want marriage to look like.

Not stale, not boring, not just going through the motions...

"Marriage is like a colour TV; Once you have it, you can never go back to a black and white.."

Prepare yo tissues...

H-Mo

2011-11-17T00:20:00.001-07:00

Today, we booked our honeymoon. It is in a cabin in the woods of the Kootenays.

Dreams coming true!

fo real!

2011-11-16T10:03:00.002-07:00

I love CBC Radio 2 Classical.

Studying is far more pleasant. And dignified.

When there's not much to say

2011-11-15T01:24:00.001-07:00

storyofmynewlife

2011-11-14T19:04:00.003-07:00

Some ladies wanted to know where we were registering and my mother wanted to know our colour scheme....

So I registered. We chose towels. They are espresso.

Then I drank wine and read web comics!! I think I'll have some Zelda for dessert.

awwwwwwwyeaaaaaaa

I know it's dreen, but what else is about it?

2011-11-08T22:48:00.004-07:00

I like flowers. I think they're pretty. But I've also learned that cut-flowers (unless locally grown) are damaging to workers/environment in a multitude of ways. I also don't find the flowers to be a top priority so spending so much money on something that's just going to die seems kind of silly for me.
SO, I've decided the best solution is completely recycled/recyclable flowers.

I did some research and found some bouquets on Etsy I really loved (pictured above!), but they were the same price as a normal bouquet. So I decided I could make it myself!

Check this baby out....

I must say, I'm pretty proud of myself. That's a dang pretty paper flower! And it's made out of an old magazine cover with a skewer as the stem. So simple. You can find the DIY here!

Can't wait to get crafty.

What a day..

2011-11-08T18:26:00.004-07:00

Today, a few things happened. 2 to be joyful about....

1) We got Dave and Quin as the photographers for our wedding. If you don't already know, they're my favorite photographers in the whole world and I had them picked out as photographers before I ever met the man of my dreams. They are dear friends of my family and absolutely amazing artists. I could go on and on about how amazing it is that they are going to be there to photograph our wedding, but it would just turn into a gush fest. The main points are:
-Colin+DQStudios= My dream wedding. I could pretty much stop planning now.
-I love all of the above

-They're amazing, awesome, wonderful, fantastic...etc....woops...gushing...

2) It was a food truck collective down at the Seed today. There were probably 8 trucks and a part of the proceeds were going to the Mustard Seed. We tried Perogy Boyz, Los Compadres, and The Noodle Bus. Defs a fun lunch.

The third thing that happened today was our dog Bailey got unexpectedly sick and we had to put her down today. I wasn't entirely close with our dog, but I realized how much she meant to our family through this. The emotions running through our house made for a fairly rocky day. There's lots to process with any sort of death, and I think one of the best descriptions ever given for this process was in the Calvin & Hobbes strip where they found a baby raccoon who shortly after died. Hopefully you can read it here...

(I believe if you click on the image, then click 'show original' you can zoom for better reading!)

Shivers

2011-11-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

New Kicks!

2011-11-07T11:24:00.004-07:00

My new (and won!) SoleRebels came in the mail today. What a treat!

I got my normal size, an 8.5, and they feel rather snug on my feet. I'm hoping they stretch out...so I'd recommend anyone getting these that they get at least a half size up.

Aside from that, they are just cute little numbers!

Oh Hope, My Breath

2011-11-07T01:42:00.003-07:00

I'm seeing more and more that every one of us is broken...
How we are broken might look different,

Times when our brokenness is more evident come and go,

How well we hide our brokenness may vary,

But every single one of us....

From the ones we love the most,

To those we love the least,

And ourselves,

Are on an even playing field of being completely broke.

Starting here, I can begin to see hope

Because from here, there is only grace

Polyvore?

2011-11-07T01:18:00.004-07:00

I heard about Polyvore from the ever delightful and fashion-forward Glynis. I thought that, since we've now entered the more fun, more creative, less important (thus LSP) part of planning, I would make my very own Polyvore to convey my idea of how I'm imagining things might look like, aesthetically.
Feast your eyes.

Jars

2011-11-07T00:28:00.006-07:00

Mmmmkay so I got my first wedding-related-paraphernalia today. I'm just a liiiittle bit excited. Want to see?

I got this class bottle from The Junque Cellar antique shop in Edmonton. I like it because it's simple and beautiful and recycled and has a tinge of blue/green, which pretty much is the theme of our wedding.

Also, Amanda lent me a couple of her mason jars which is a wonderful start to our mason jar decorating (such hipsters). And I'm slightly obsessed with my ring.

We spent an awesome weekend in Edmonton and area hanging out with Colin's sister, brother-in-law, and brother, as well as my friends Troy, Amanda and their sweety pie son Micah. It was a treat to be able to spend some QT with all those people, eat good food, have lots of laughs, and gain some wisdom along the way.
We are blessed.

SHOES!

2011-10-31T08:22:00.005-06:00

A little while ago I posted that article about Toms Shoes and the argument for business who are working for long term solutions rather than short term ones. While I see the need for both, I think I favor those with the long term mindset and love seeing how people/organizations are thinking that through.

SoleRebels was referenced in that article and they are the picture of what long term sustainability, at least in a shoe company, should look like. They support their workers (so their workers can actually support their families), use recycled material, cut down on waste (they don't ship in shoe boxes...because we just don't make as many dioramas these days), and they use production methods and styles that are representative of Ethiopia (where they are made)

There is a ton more cool stuff that they do, and I suggest you read THIS.

All that to say, we were planning on putting in a group order to this place, and in my window shopping I discovered you could enter a weekly contest by posting your fave shoe on Twitter. I won! A pair of these ever so cute Tootoos. And you also have the chance, both to do a big group order with us AND to win!

So give the website a browse and let me know what your fave is and we'll put in a purchase!

Love

2011-10-30T23:30:00.002-06:00

Love forever.

It's kind of crazy to imagine. It feels impossible sometimes.
I'm lucky I have some wonderful examples in my life of what Loving Forever looks like.

And here I am, ready to make this Love officially a Forever one.
Man.

So this next 7 months is the Wedding Prep stage. After the last few days, I think it'll be much more interesting to see how these months ahead prep us for marriage, and just relationship in general (with our family, friends...ALL of the people!) I only have a few rules for what I expect of the Wedding Prep stage and then the rest is just fun. These are:

LSP. Least Stress Possible. I just invented that acronym. Do you hate acronyms as much as I do? Cool. I'll never use it again. But seriously, on a pretty regular basis I see couples who, in the month before the wedding, are crazy with stress and ready for it to be done more than anything else. There must be another way. And that way is LSP!!!

No Bank Breaking. Can anyone honestly tell me what looks different between a 500 dollar wedding dress and a 5000 dollar one? Except for more ruffles? Well this girl is not a ruffle girl, so I'm happy to save a couple thou.
Green. Have little to no newly purchased items at the wedding. All used, recycled, or hand-made. Thrift store mama.
Vows. Because at the end of the day, that is the most important part of the wedding. And what better opportunity to start living them out...

And the rest is history....

The Sweetest

2011-10-27T10:54:00.001-06:00

Making Friends

2011-10-26T19:17:00.001-06:00

Sinky.

2011-10-26T18:53:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I do too much of some things,

And too little of other things,

And then I'm expected to be around people to some capacity

And then I feel like this:

I need some reserves.

Okay...I Believe.

2011-10-24T13:13:00.004-06:00

've pretty much just pushing products in my last few posts, so I apologize if that's not your thang, but I'm just excited!

Lately in school we've been talking about Universal Design; creating buildings/spaces that are accessible to all people. Things such as ramps instead of stairs, curved hallways/automatic doors instead of doors, and audio/visual indicators. I'd heard that Apple products were completely disability-accessible and with the new 4S phone out with all its fancy functions, I decided to look into it...

...I was previously Apple-averse...attributing its quality to 'hype' and particularly turned off by the price tag. Well I am a doubter no longer. It has been awesome to read about how very accessible the Iphone/Ipad and other apple products are. Things such as text reading, voice response, wireless braille application...and all other sorts. And these are programmed into every (recent) Apple product.

Not only this, but the apps that have been created to aid kids with autism in communication, learning, scheduling, etc. look great and just generally handy.

Apple just discovered the way to my heart. Thanks SJ!

Pro-A

2011-10-22T11:19:00.004-06:00

I like TOMS. They send me emails with beautiful little South American children in them who can now walk to school without risk of wrecking their little toesies. I rep that.

But I also just read this article with a good view on what positive effect TOMS is having (getting people AWARE), and especially what they could be doing better (fair job provision is far more substantial than shoes for a year)

What if our commitment to people was lifelong?

Of Portland

2011-10-21T10:11:00.007-06:00

------------------------------------Music-------------------------------------------

Feist, Jonsi, Mason Jennings, Metric, Matthew Good, Flight of the Conchords, Wilco, John Mayer Trio, Radiohead, Bon Iver, Andrew Bird, Imogen Heap, Sam Roberts, Mother Mother, Neil Young, The Band (and more)

------------------------------------Food-------------------------------------------

Dechutes Brewery
Hog Time/Bulkogi Fusion (Food carts)

Mio Sushi

Portland Market fish&chips

Horse Brass Pub

Mo's

Bro-dogs (Food carts)

Little Big Burger

Voodoo Donuts

------------------------------------Coffee-------------------------------------------

Northwest Coffee

Heart

Barista
Stumptown

Coava

--------------------------------Magical Others--------------------------------------

Everyday Music
Jackpot Records

Powells Books
Portland Market
Mason Jennings Concert
Burnside Bridge Skatepark
Bike shops
Cannon Beach
Bruce's Candy Kitchen (saltwater taffy)

-------------------------------Books Purchased-------------------------------------

Laddertop (new graphic novel)-Orson Scott Card
One Hundred Years in Solitude- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Sound and the Fury- William Faulkner
Heart of Darkness- Joseph Conrad
Bigfoot: I Not Dead (graphic novel) - Graham Roumieu
Senseless Sensibilities: Jane Austin Mashups

I've found a new love in Portland.

Le Hermitage

2011-10-11T14:02:00.002-06:00

Today for lunch (at 2), I had: Crackers & Cheese, Miso soup (instant), and yogurt.

My only responsibility is to finish a paper (/reflection, already 3/4's done) at my leisure.

One big decision I've made today is to sign up for the online Rosetta Stone: Japanese.

That decision was spurred on by a good amount of time spent on Stumbleupon.

I LOVE HERMIT DAYS, THEY ARE SO MAGICAL AND WONDERFUL AND FREEING!

Seriously, I need to stop saying "I just have to make it to ____day"
This is not a healthy way to live life.

Big decision #2: Schedule in my hermit days for the next 2 months.

Fears

2011-10-08T13:43:00.003-06:00

I have two fears that show themselves in reoccurring nightmares:

The Fear of Drowning

And, The Fear of Cats Attacking My Feet

I sense some incongruity here.

Some...

2011-10-04T11:09:00.002-06:00

Some people stumble upon love for a period of time

And the beauty of it slips out through the cracks

Around the door frames and past the window panes

The cool breeze whips softly over a blushed cheek

The whisper is just barely remembered

Welcome Back!

2011-09-28T13:17:00.002-06:00

Sometimes, entering back into the real world feels like a punch. A punch right in the face.

I want to back away slowly. Pretend I wasn't here. You never saw me...

Realize the error of my ways, apologize to my surroundings for ever leaving, 'how could I be so silly, of course I'd rather stay here forever', meld softly back into my dream world.
Of books, sushi, soft rain, coffee, snuggling, camera wielding, walking, sleeping, sitting...

Why does debt and homework and job-searching and due dates and rush all have to exist here?

Sigh. I'm drowning my misery in more coffee and sushi.

I'll stop wallowing now.

Uh...society brainwashed WHAT!?

2011-09-21T12:11:00.001-06:00

Misconceptions

Spastic cerebral palsy, the most common form of CP, causes the muscles to be tense, rigid and movements are slow and difficult. This can be misinterpreted as cognitive delay due to difficulty of communication. Individuals with cerebral palsy can have learning difficulties, but sometimes it is the sheer magnitude of problems caused by the underlying brain injury that prevents the individual from expressing what cognitive abilities they do possess

-True story. I bet 90% of people have this misconception. I sure did.

-I love my program

Anti-social Catterpiller

2011-09-19T15:34:00.002-06:00

I feel the draws of the anti-socialite lifestyle pulling me in once again.

It's this chilly weather.

It's this 'new-ness' of life.

It's this book-worm mentality.
It's this additional stress.

It's just me.

So I apologize ahead of time if I'm non-committal. Or if I say I'll probably be there but then probably don't show up.

It's just that, sometimes, most of the time (these days) sitting in my house with a cup of tea and a textbook (or not a textbook) seems like the nicest thing in the world.

For now...

2011-09-18T22:28:00.005-06:00

I haven't been taking nearly enough pictures lately. I think it's because I've begun school and, at least for the time being, fallen head over heals for it. Seriously, I am getting all my chapters read and notes taken ahead of time. It's weird. I think this is probably what I was made to do (disability studies, not taking notes...)

So, in the meantime, I will put up the pictures we've taken with Chochan's Iphone, which will give a glimpse....

Typical, sushi. And misspellings.
Yum, Kinjo.

We finally checked out Alley Burger it was good. Not awesome, though I can't say pork-sausage burger would ever be my first choice. I think I'd like to try the "full truck" burger. It was the experience though, and I always like that.

We went to a jazz bar. We looked jazzy.

We ate delicious food. Tango is a win!

Out and about in Bowness. <3

We also finally checked out Milk Tiger. Atmosphere alone was a TREAT! The place smelled like rising bread, and outside there sat a suspendered, vested, cigar smoking bouncer. And the menus! Please go.

So I promise to take more photos soon. I will nurture my hobby and maintain sanity. These next two weekends I am photographing two weddings, so the good ol' cam and I will have some solid, scary, time together. Also I am renting the 24mm 1.4 prime for our Van trip and I am absolutely giddy about this. It's the lens I've been dangerously coveting for months and while it's currently (and probably for the next two years...*sigh*) too expensive for purchase, I decided to splurge a teensy bit and rent it for the week. GLORY.

This is probably a bad idea, as I will probably cry for days after having to give it back.

I've got a bird....

2011-09-13T12:19:00.001-06:00

Not long ago, I found Bob Dylan to be, based on my limited exposure, an object of hilarity. Seriously...that voice...what a goof!
But Colin encouraged me to give him more of a chance, and I've never looked back. His harmonica, guitar playing, amazing writing, and sheer sass....I'm won over.

Come writers and critics

Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'

ohshoooot

2011-09-12T23:51:00.002-06:00

Guess who's lost her touch for new situations?

If you guessed Anxiety Girl, you would be right.

I started school, and I have a job interview tomorrow...oh yea because I a currently am without employment and thus without finances.

. . . . . . . . . .you betchya

Phototo

2011-09-11T18:26:00.002-06:00

I have this thing about fish eye lenses.

And that thing is, I think they should never be used.

...unless you are a sports photographer.

...and even then, only occasionally.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

In positive news, I suggest you check out THESE photographers if you're a fan of awesome wedding, life, and just generally fantastic photography. I want to be like them....

-Brittany Esther

-DQ Studios
-Imago Weddings (This is videography like you neva seen it before!)
-Brooks Reynolds (I haven't looked at his stuff in his while but I just did and he's great! Unfortunately..from Ontario..)

Enjoi!

Alice...

2011-09-10T00:19:00.004-06:00

This photo shoot/photographer is amazing...

By Elana Kalis

Seriously...I am currently looking through this woman's whole portfolio and you MUST LOOK. It's some of the most unique photography I've ever seen.

Long May You Run

2011-09-09T19:05:00.003-06:00

Mmmkayyy so I really love this man:

...'although these changes have come between us.'

I prettty much look up his tour schedule every couple weeks.

DANGIT NEIL...I NEED YOU NOW!

Truestory

2011-09-09T15:24:00.004-06:00

First day of class today.

In the first minutes of class there was introduction time,

And one girl's name was Faron.

My brain:

....le parents?........

Of The Day

2011-09-08T17:59:00.002-06:00

Hero of the day:

Melanie Safka

1) She's gorgeous.

2) She's got a killer voice.

3) This is one of the cutest songs ever:

Lune

2011-09-08T01:11:00.003-06:00

Now,

The moon, my sister, cry's upon my shoulder

She tells me, "I have chased and chased, but to no avail,

I have followed, and been forsaken"

Her face, she tilts, to the shade

In the beginning,

She was beautiful, more beautiful than any other

And all the other heavenly bodies could not turn their faces

They gazed upon her

And drank of her milk white light

But what now, my darling?

My sister?

How can I learn from you when you hide and falter

Further away, day by day

With my arms I also am reaching

I watch you, on your dark ship, sailing away

O Night

2011-09-08T00:38:00.003-06:00

When I don't have responsibility...I stay up reeeeally late. I seem to live out the high school mentality I never had in week long spurts, annually, since finishing high school.

I can't say I'm proud of it.

Otherwise, life is composed of:

Sushi. It is not an exaggeration to say I crave it daily.

This guy. He's a babe. Shaawing.
Planning future adventures. I promise I am getting better and better at simply enjoying the present, but I just have a deep and cultivated love for mapping out my eventual explorations.
I mean seriously: 1) Photographing a wedding in Vancouver for some dear friends, and a couple extra days with Cho. 2) Portland for a Mason Jennings concert with Cho and Rachelle.
The girl can't help it.
This song. It gets me.
Oh yea...and maybe getting back into real life...such as starting school and finding a job. But I'm ignoring those for as long as I can (ie: 24 hours)

Ornithology

2011-09-06T23:37:00.003-06:00

As for those with flight,

You set my heart alight

I will learn from you, for you are free

Cetology

2011-09-06T23:21:00.003-06:00

I am becoming consistently more smitten with whales.

No one can write about them, even in terror, without a kind of awe and respect.

Even Ahab was a jilted lover.

Grandfather, tell me the stories of the sea

Ontari-OH

2011-09-03T14:18:00.002-06:00

This was a FUN trip. Toronto was a jam-packed adventure but I didn't have nearly enough time to do everything I wanted. As usual my legs took the brunt of the wandering. Poor lil' guys.

FOOD:

Big Smoke Burger: I'm always on the search for a good homegrown burger, and this did not disappoint. The strawberry milkshake especially was such a treat, served right out of the frosty metal cup they mixed it in.

Yuzu Sushi Bar: I love sushi. Did you know? While it's not quite as fun going alone, the sushi was so delicious, I was especially thrilled with the Salmon sashimi. Melt-in-yo-MOUTH!

Brazil Bakery & Cafe: My friend who lived in Toronto for a year recommended I try the Egg Custard Tarts here, and while I had no idea what that was, the name itself enticed me. It was worth the long side trip into Little Portugal. The bakery itself was fun with Brazilian soccer on TV, and everyone speaking Portuguese. The Custard Tarts were DELISH...I wish I had one riiiight now.

Sense Appeal Coffee: Ipoh: white Malaysian iced coffee+Hipster/businessmen central=pretty dang sweet.

B Espresso Bar: This was a cute little Italian chain I came across and just got something on the go, but I wished I could have indulged in the coffee more. The workers were nice!

Bikkuri Japanese: Satisfied my late night sushi craving, and for this I am forever in their debt.

BOOKS:

Catching Fire: The second in the Hunger Games trilo...I'd give it the same review as the first..

Mockingjay: Final book of the trilo. SO INTENSE. This book was so emotional for me haha...and while it finished in a way I was happy with, I wasn't necessarily happy at the end of the book. This is good, it made me think way more than I expected.

Look Me In The Eye: I've been meaning to read this book for a long time so I was happy to finally get through! An autobiography by a man with Aspergers, it was a very interesting look into how he felt as he grew and learned while having Aspergers, the first half of his life going undiagnosed.

The Godfather: I LOVE THIS BOOK. The movie is awesome and the book exceeds. Yum.

A Whale for the Killing: Oh Farley Mowat, you are a wonderful man. I never was a fan of animal books/movies when I was young but Mowat has a way of intriguing me, both in regards to animals and to the sociological observations he draws from them. It is sad though.

Now I am struggling to get into Slaughterhouse Five. Here I come Calgary!!

Young

2011-08-24T08:30:00.005-06:00

These days:

-I want a tattoo

-Have no money
-Seem to want a lot of things requiring money.

Real life, is that you?

-I am feeling naive

-Deep down I don't think I am

-But many of the people around me think I'm foolish for my ideals

Real life, it IS you...

-I am twenty-two
-Experienced as much as I can

-But still I am entering life with the wide eyes of a doe

Real life must take a long entrance.

(Art-Nicolas Rix)

Every time...

2011-08-16T17:10:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I start out the day thinking I've really hit it out of the park, fashionably.

Then halfway through the day, I realize something has happened....

Why?

Nextup....

2011-08-16T11:53:00.005-06:00

Time to be a tourist again. This time in my own country, and some familiar places. But a tourist nonetheless.

I'm on the edge of my seat.

I went to Cambodia. These are some kids I love:

Also, while in Cambodia I went book crazy:

Kafka on the Shore-Murakami: Not my favorite Murakami, but interesting elements.

In The Country of Men-Hisham Matar: I picked up a few books to read while on this trip and went with pretty random choices. This was a first novel by this author, but had won some prizes so I thought I'd give it a try. It is set in Libya in the 70's...and is very interesting in light of the recent upheavals in Libya (especially for someone who knew nothing about Libya...)

Shanghai Girls-Lisa See: I've read a few Chinese-American books before, so was expecting a bit of the same thing. I've seemed to notice that the general outlook is on the pessimistic side, and truthfully the characters do experience a ton of hardship we never had to. But this one stays depressing right until the end (after a midsection that gives the reader some hope...) so after almost crying on the plane I decided I didn't love this book.

Hunger Games-Suzanne Collins: Yep, I'm in it! These aren't the best sci-fi you'll read but they're funnn and perfect summer reading. Thank goodness for series!

2011-08-14T03:46:00.004-06:00

The truth is, everyone is beautiful, but we make very little time to see this.

More and more, I'm finding that to be my favorite thing about photography: Taking the time.

(Pen.ah Photo)

Uke

2011-07-22T21:19:00.000-06:00

30 ukulele covers in 30 days? Yes please.

Tom Kha Gai

2011-07-22T14:02:00.003-06:00

Dear Thai Coconut Chicken soup,

If you existed in human form, I would run off and elope with you right now.

Hopelessly devoted,
Alexandra

This is Thursday

2011-07-21T22:29:00.004-06:00

Bottle green, you are my favorite. Get onto my feet! (...in 7-10 business days...)

Also Possession=owned! It was one of the best "romance" novels I've ever read...probably because the female characters were all intelligent, introverted feminists. Yippee! Haha.

Which means my summer book list has also been owned. To the reserves! My other Murakami arrived today...so perfect. I may have to pick up Leo again....eeek!

I also feel ultra-successful when I find this dress at the thrift store for 25 bucks, with alterations bringing the total to 35, and google to find the selling price is $135. Why would I ever buy new again? I don't know.

Possession

2011-07-21T09:47:00.003-06:00

Two years ago, I read The Time Traveller's Wife, and didn't really enjoy it. But there was one quote she used at the beginning of a chapter that really suck out to me and since then i have purchased the book and am currently reading it (it's much better than TTTW)

Possession seemed to be a little slower at the start but I've thoroughly got into it since. It weaves together a few different stories, namely about some 19th century poets and those who are studying them, and so the writing and language is quite lovely. I finally came across the quote that had interested me long ago. It's funny how, though I hadn't read it since and couldn't even remember the general idea of the quote, my brain recognized the familiar passage immediately. Neato, brain!

"This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began. And when I go away from here, this will be the midpoint, to which everything ran, before, and from which everything will run. But now, my love we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere"

Quite a lovely and melancholic view of love and passion, I think.

12:59

2011-07-21T00:43:00.002-06:00

Only in the night hours, do I recall

How the darkness once stood, how it felt,

How it wrapped itself around me and emptied the body

Of what it was worth, ushering me

Firmly

Into a white-walled room, with concrete floors

Where I pressed my cheek to the ground but to feel the chill

If anything at all.

Where did you think you would leave me?
You, among many,
When you turned your face from my open hands

Do you ever wonder what mark you left,

What silvery scar traced along the red outer walls,

Is of your design?

I have healed well, but still, there are the phantoms of what was

Only in the night hours, do I recall

How the darkness once stood, how it felt

I peruse, at times, at my own risk,

The moments you left me with

Some I have scattered and burned, in dark hours of the past

Self-preservation and others-erased

But even this, I know there was a 'once there'

What was it in me? I fatefully ask.

What wasn't it? When my heart so naively opened.

But this, this is futile. Petty. Unjust.

I enter the white room, this time on my own volition

My child, won't you run now?

Run from these night hours,

Where the darkness once stood.

MASON

2011-07-19T21:10:00.000-06:00

FLIPPING MY LIDDDDDDDDDDD

The Evening Storm

2011-07-19T19:19:00.002-06:00

I worked my way through 4 Radiohead albums today, almost chronologically (how magical)

They're a perfect complement to this ridiculously stormy weather. Since when has Alberta had lightening storms like this? Only in the last couple years, as far as I can remember...

And perfect bedtime music? Thom Yorke to round it all out.

Delish.

Audrey Kawasaki=Double Delish.

uhoh.

2011-07-18T22:56:00.001-06:00

My life feels very quiet without him around.....

...and it's been like 2 friggen days. Daaaayyummmmmmm

Oh TO.

2011-07-18T22:30:00.004-06:00

Sometimes, I sit down at my computer and think:

"Now would be a perfect time to finish editing those pictures,

or planning my life..."

But instead I end up looking up food blogs at my next travel destination, such as this and this.

So far, I know that I want to go to YUZU, because it's the Japanese food bloggers favorite Japanese resto, and because it has a specialty roll which is seared at your table and is topped with gold flakes. Sounds ridiculous enough to be worth it.

Yumyumyumyumyum

Also, today I purchased a wonderful thing called the "CITYPASS" which lets me go to the CN Tower, the ROM, the Zoo, the Science Centre and Casa Loma for the wondrous price of $53. Since going to the ROM was the only one I was originally planning, and that is 25 bucks itself, I think you can see how it quickly becomes worth it. There are a bunch for other cities across America as well so check it if you're travelling!

This is how I feel.

Mmmmmmmm

2011-07-17T11:05:00.002-06:00

Christa shared this, and I kind of wanted to cry within the first 20 seconds.

So much beauty.

Contrasts.

2011-07-13T11:53:00.004-06:00

Alberta, these days, is especially lovely.

The foothills have taken on an unrecognizable tinge, the hues of green against blue which are so foreign, I feel I am in another country whenever I drive through them. Maybe Ireland. Maybe an African Savannah in spring. I'm not sure exactly, but the transformation is mesmerizing.

This morning, driving through the rain to the wire haze and horns of Matt Good, I felt the deepest melancholy I've felt in a while.

It's rain, it's lack of sleep, it's Murakami thoughts, it's music...all these things to blame, I still felt it.
It takes me low, but not to a dangerous point. It reminds me of emptiness, and loneliness, and uselessness. And I suppose all these things are good to be reminded of, in contrast.

Still, it is something I could get stuck in. This mood. This grey. And that, I have to fight against.

Bookish.

2011-07-11T09:54:00.003-06:00

Check it out!

~~Jesus For President (Shane Claiborne).~~
Possession (A.S. Byatt). -in the middle
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (Haruki Murakami). -in the middle, to be finished quickly, knowing Murakami and me
~~Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov)~~

And it's not even halfway through July. This is what I get for setting my goals low.....OVER ACHIEVEMENT!!! Hah.

Lolita worried my prudish self at first. But I guess that's what it's supposed to do (I read the wikipedia summary to decide whether I should give it up). In the end, I'm glad I stuck it out. His writing style is lovely.

Truth

2011-07-07T01:12:00.005-06:00

Art is a vicious love.

With it, I become more entranced, but,

My servitude must be towards humility,

Lest it destroy me altogether.

Sumsumma

2011-07-04T11:26:00.003-06:00

Got the latest Gorillaz album recently to expand the summer playlist. It's way more chill than I expected, but I like it a lot and I think that makes it a little more diverse from morning to night.

(I also finally got Thom Yorke's The Eraser. Not so summery, but so delectable)

Finished Jesus For President! So good. Really. Everyone who is pro-peace(non-violent-non-passive) should read it.

AND I cooked my pants off this weekend, and still not done! Want to see some of the things I (and often Colin) made? Okay. I'll show you.

Snow

2011-07-03T12:10:00.001-06:00

I'm so very much in love with this season. It turns my heart inside out. How can everything not be magical when there is poplar fluff flying through the air like snow, like stars....

I could just eat it all up

Long Long Weekend

2011-06-30T13:26:00.002-06:00

Guess what.

I had a doughnut from Jelly for breakfast (at 11:30)

(did grocery shopping inbetween-so responsible!)

And am currently drinking a mimosa for lunch.

And am listening to Matt & Kim

(still haven't put away groceries-not responsible)

AND I LOVE HOLIDAYS.

I also like being so close to downtown all the time. In summer. Walking=best.

mmmmwednesday

2011-06-29T16:10:00.003-06:00

"StumbleUpon" is taking over a large percentage of my free time, but I don't entirely mind. I feel occasionally inspired, a little enlightened, and mostly entertained. That's about 75% good.

My most recent find was a list of "The Best 100 Opening Lines", and if you're looking to add to your book list, I suggest you also check it out. It really will leave you wanting, for it was Marc's quick post on the opening lines of Lolita that left me curious ever since.

Yay books. Yay sunshine. Yay holiday. I feel about 15% higher on the positive side from melancholy. =yay books...?....!

Herro, life for the next 2 weeks..

Ohhhh BREAK

2011-06-28T09:28:00.006-06:00

A museum designed to look like you're walking under palm trees? YESPLEASE.

I found a new blog. It's a design blog, and I've only immersed myself in the architecture part of it. I would stay inside for days if I looked at anything else. You should look too.

I want to go to this museum, and visit these in Norway, and stay here for a while.

Wanderlust IGNITE.

Also, nahbigs but I just got farther than ever in Zelda. I'm ready to own this shit! Did I mention I'm on holidays after today? Could you tell?

Mah pal for the next couple weeks....

Nabo and Mura and Byatt OH MY

2011-06-27T19:13:00.002-06:00

Okay summer book list, you are lofty, but here goes:

Jesus For President (Shane Claiborne). Must finish.
Possession (A.S. Byatt). Thought it was going slow but I'm further along than I thought. There is hope!
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (Haruki Murakami). Finally, another Murakami! Yay.
Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov). I've been desperate to read it, so intriguing.

That's only four. Wimpy I know. I'm trying to keep my goals attainable this summer. But, should I happen to really hit it out of the park on plane rides, I will add a couple more, in case.

Kafka On The Shore (Haruki Murakami)
War and Peace (yooooou knoowwwww.......)

To Soak In...

2011-06-24T14:44:00.001-06:00

I Love Canadians.

2011-06-24T09:24:00.003-06:00

The Rolling Stone is having a contest where the winner gets to be on the cover of their mag. It's now in the top 2 and one of them is The Sheepdogs, who are a Canadian band who have a super 70's rock feel. The other is a girl who's not that interesting...haha.

Check them out and vote here!

Plus this is just the groove of summer

Oh My Heart

2011-06-23T18:55:00.000-06:00

So dang fine!

Just sayin'

SammyRo

2011-06-22T10:35:00.000-06:00

I heard this song this morning, and liked it.

Summaaaahhhhh

2011-06-21T10:59:00.003-06:00

Today marks the beginning of my absolute favorite time of year. Days are long, skies are clear, grass is green, and the sun soaks through leafy canopies and peachy skin giving everything a glorious glow.

This is a day of rejoicing, historically for us folks in the northern hemisphere of the earth. It is a break from darkness, a representation of growth and a celebration of life. Harvest will be coming. New marriages are beginning. Life, overall, is dang good!

I don't think people need help celebrating this season. Our amiability towards sunlight and warmth is natural and we come alive while soaking it in.

"In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it"

Freedom, simplicity, beauty, joy...this is what we search for, and I hope your search continues...